Holiness = Happiness

A common axiom I have been hearing lately among Christians is “holiness not happiness.” From a sermon I heard a couple months ago, to a seminar on dating I attended last Spring, to a Relevant magazine article that went so far as to say “happiness is a perilous thing.” I understand much of what these godly men and women are trying to say. I would guess that many are trying to curtail the advance of the numerous, infectious forms of “prosperity” Gospel through pitting holiness against happiness. And I join them in pushing against that false gospel.

But still, I hear “holiness not happiness,” and I cringe. I think its’ because we have made the two mutually exclusive. You can be holy or you can be happy. But both? No way. Not a chance. I also think about how that must look to non-believers – “follow Jesus as Lord and be holy…will you be happy? Nope – holy.” While we certainly shouldn’t tailor the Gospel or any truth to attract more people to the faith, as a Christian I hear that and question if I’d rather be holy or happy. I believe we have separated what God meant to be united. Holiness leads to happiness. If you are holy, you will be happy. If you won’t live righteously, you will ultimately regret your decision and see that sinful behavior was anything but a source of happiness.

Before I go any further, I should define what I mean by “happy.” If all the word “happy” can entail is shallow, superficial pleasure then I would agree that holiness does not make us happy. Case closed. But the Bible seems to indicate that the word “happy” or “joyful” has a much deeper tone to it. True happiness or joy is something much more – something derived over time from obedience. In fact, I would argue that happiness (or joy) in its’ truest form can only be experienced through holiness.

In the Old Testament, obedience brings the joy of life. Deuteronomy 6:1-2 says “these are the commands, decrees, regulations, that the LORD your God commanded to teach you…if you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life.” God encouraged obedience because his people would enjoy life as a result. Later in Deuteronomy 30:15-16 God again says of His commands, “Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster…if you do this (obey), you will live and multiply, and the LORD your God will bless you…” Obedience leads to long-term, deep happiness. The Bible from the start indicates that happiness is the result of holiness, not its’ polar opposite. This rings true in Psalm 119, which says repeatedly in its’ 176 verses that “joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the LORD,” (119:1,2,16,24,35,47). From the writer’s perspective, joy is a result of obedience – of holiness. So it begs the question, if holiness and happiness (in its’ truest form) are fundamentally opposed, then why does God proclaim frequently, that obedience is a source of joy and life?

In the New Testament, obedience is also described as a source of joy. Jesus is said to have been painfully obedient on the cross precisely because of the joy that awaited Him on the other side of His sacrifice (Heb. 12:2). Paul wrote that if anything can augment the joy we have in the gift of salvation Jesus has offered us, it can be found in obedient humility to one another and the Lord. The apostle John wrote that obedience was not burdensome, but a source of happiness for those who love and follow Jesus (1 John 5:2-4). So it begs the question, if genuine happiness is opposed to obedience, then why does the Bible tell us the joy is the result of holiness?

Part of this discussion hinges on a cheap meaning of happiness as I stated earlier. When we get the equation wrong and believe happiness precedes holiness, then that is a path to error and sin. We’ve all been there. But the truth I have experienced (and believe is biblical) is that when I pursue happiness over holiness, I end up getting neither. While the thrills may be instant and require little to no effort on my part, the old adage still resonates - sin is like honey on the lips, but gravel in the stomach (Proverbs 5). When we each pursue cheap, evil happiness, we end in a place of profound unhappiness (both in this life and the next if we do not repent) precisely because we are unholy.

My point may sound to generalized and to that I would answer, in the short run, absolutely. From one perspective, we all know people engaged in sin who seem perfectly happy, satisfied, and even joyful in their wicked behavior. I don’t say that judgmentally; we all were that way once and from a strictly temporal view, the unrepentant come out on top. Paul even admitted this truth – if there is no eternity, then Christians are to be the most pitied of all people (1 Cor. 15:17-19). From a strictly earthly perspective, holiness loses to the pursuit of happiness, because there’s no ultimate settling of accounts, no judgment, no restoration for the obedient in the long run. Conversely, we all know people who are deeply committed to, love, and follow Jesus, and they have been through some of the most profoundly troubling, miserable ordeals. Even as I write this I think of a good friend who loves Jesus and her family and strives to lead a holy life. She was diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago. From a short-term perspective, she is to be most pitied above all because what has her obedience brought her? A cancer diagnosis. And if there were no eternity, her pursuit of holiness would end in despair not happiness. If there is no eternal reckoning, no settling of accounts, no judgment, then the happy-wicked prosper and the obediently-holy despair.

But there is an eternity – and that changes everything. Cheap happiness will ultimately lead to despair. Faithful obedience in spite of personal suffering and loss, will lead to indescribable bliss. What’s more, from an earthly and eternal perspective, holiness in this life also brings happiness in this life. Perhaps the premiere example of this truth in our day is sexuality. Pornography and promiscuity lead to cheap, shallow, instant pleasure. But, this pursuit of pleasure ultimately leads to unhappiness through relational carnage, emotional baggage, ruined marriages, sexual transmitted diseases, and more. Conversely, sexual integrity leads to its’ ultimate purpose in bringing deep joy and intimacy in marriage – a happiness that can’t even be rightly compared to the shallow pleasure of a one night stand or an adult website.

With all that in mind, I hope I have articulated my main thought: holiness and happiness are not opposed, they are linked. Granted, if we pursue happiness over holiness, we’ll get neither. But if we pursue holiness, we will be profoundly, ineffably, incomparably happy in divinely given moments in this life and throughout eternity. Will we still suffer and at times be uncomfortable (even miserable) even though we are obedient? Absolutely. But with eternity in view and a grasp of God’s perspective of true happiness, we can endure like our Savior who “for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising its’ shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Obedience may be painful at times in the short-run, but it cannot ever be divorced from the ultimate happiness and joy it brings both in this life and the next.

Thoughts?

Goodbye. Hello Again.

Goodbye. Easily one of my least favorite words. And it’s a word I’ve been saying a lot lately. Think about it – when we leave friends or family we’ll see soon, we typically say something like “talk to you tomorrow,” or “See you Sunday.” But “goodbye” has a finality to it. In uttering that one word we acknowledge a crushing reality – the conclusion of something dear to us, friendships.

As I reflect on a season of goodbyes, my heart is both torn and healed. Torn by the loss of relationships. Torn by the recognition that a huge blessing is now a memory. Torn but healed. Healed by faith in God’s good plan. Healed by the hopeful expectation of a future reunion – indeed a meeting that makes time with loved ones in this life look like child’s play.

In fact, brokenness proceeds healing when we say goodbye. From an eternal perspective, when we say goodbye we are forced to acknowledge a truth we hate to admit: we don’t belong here. We weren’t made for this kind of life. That’s not to say we don’t enjoy God’s blessings in this life or that we don’t have purpose in this life. No, we have purpose and meaning in this life – but from an eternal perspective, this life in many ways, is an exile. A time of being cast out. A time of death. A time of tears. A time of suffering. A time of  goodbyes.  Peter and Paul both acknowledge that believers are exiles (1 Peter 1:17) and that our present suffering is real (2 Cor. 4). 

A few days ago I said goodbye to a very close friend. As we said our painful farewells, he quietly handed me a CD of some of his favorite music. As I listened to it one song stuck it. Be warned, it’s from a TV show I don’t watch, but the point it makes is nonetheless valid. The song quietly builds until a single female softly sings “I’d stay if I could, but the universe won’t let me. So, please be good. Don’t you forget me.” I think that statement is profound if we make a simple adjustment – take out “universe” and insert “providence” – the good, loving, kind, and glorious plan of God.

For so many of us, that lyric rings true. We’d stay where we are if we could. We really would. We would avoid that dreaded “goodbye” at all costs. We want stability – we want to be remembered and cherished. But, as believers, we all must accept that our time in this life is a time of exile, a time of goodbyes. But it is also a time of Providence. A time of God’s good and loving and perfect plan. As exiles, as ones that are not yet home, we are forced from time to time by death or leaving loved ones for whatever reason, to recognize that God’s plan in this life sometimes involves goodbyes. Sometimes, for our good and His glory, we have to drink the bitter cup of “goodbye my friend.” Why? Because we are not home. Not yet. Because He has not yet called us back fully from exile. Are we saved? Yes. Do we daily experience the blessing of His grace? Absolutely. But are we enjoying the full reality of His complete rescue? No. Not yet. Not until we arrive at that place we’ve never been but yet know we belong. Not until we arrive in the land where “goodbye” is itself exiled.

           

That day is coming. That day when we no longer say goodbye to those we love who are part of our family of faith. When that day comes, the brokenness of goodbye will finally be replaced with the healing salve of “hello again, my beloved friend.” There, in the presence of our glorious God, we shall be reunited as family. There, the brokenness of goodbye shall be replaced with the wholeness of a permanent hello. A hello to family, both in blood and in spirit. What’s more, this hello will be in the midst of the presence of the good and loving God who knew when the pain of goodbye was necessary for our good and who kept us going with the promise of his daily sustaining grace, and a future hello that would never be broken.

So as I sit on my bed and contemplate the dozens of goodbyes I have said in the last two weeks, I sit with a quiet peace. A peace that comes from a faith that whispers softly “your goodbye will one day become hello again.”

With that serene peace, I say to my friends who I leave, “I love you so very much and will miss you immensely. Goodbye.”

And to the new friends I will join soon in this next season of life, with a smile I say “Hello.”